Dating in the Real World... (page 2) (2024)

by darkl1ght3r 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  • bluecanary

    Dude, you need to start your own website. Like but funny.

    You might need to get the hot girl obsession out of your system before you're ready for a real relationship with a woman who is beautiful AND mature. I know an x-jw in her forties who, after giving it a shot, realized she's self-sufficient and doesn't WANT a relationship. She just wants to have sex with a cute guy. Your wants and needs may change at different times in your life.

    I offer you my usual relationship advice:

    Water seeks its own level. If you are "broken" for whatever reason, you are going to attract a girl who's in the same place. And those relationships don't usually turn out well. Get yourself fixed first. (Insert neutering joke here.)

    Love enters a man through his eyes, a woman through her ears. Men can get away with a lot more in the looks department because, even though a woman does care what he looks like, she cares more what he acts like, what he tells her and what his reputation is to others.

    Nice guys don't get the girls. There are generally two possible reasons for this. First, because he's not as nice as he thinks he is. A guy can be all sweetness and affection to his girl, but if he's rude to the waiter, forget it.

    Second, he's too nice, to too many people. Women want to be special. They like the "bad boy" because he's tough and assertive, but when he's with her and only with her, he's a teddy bear. That doesn't mean you have to join a biker gang, but confidence (not arrogance) will get you farther than being meek, self-deprecating or passive.

    Class dismissed.

  • rocketman

    Obviously, a 20 year-old was not the best measuring-stick in terms of what real-world dating is like. If you get out, and maybe use an online dating service, you should begin to meet more mature women.

    As far as the JW dating experience goes, your post was actually very close to the truth. You also allude to what I consider to be the greatest Catch-22 that JW life has to offer: What to do with those biological urges in light of the fact that getting married when young is generally a very bad idea.

    Of course, what to do is the JW version of Don't Ask Don't Tell - everybody knows that jw youth are sexually active, but as long as it doesn't 'come to light', nobody really asks said youth what they're up to.

  • heybaby

    I completely agree!! My husband and I married when I was 18 and he was 21. He's a great guy and we've made it work, but most of our success has come more recently as I've stopped attending meetings and finally starting acting like a normal person - not a Witness robot!! Good luck!!

  • BabaYaga

    I loved reading this! Absolutely brilliant. I'm sorry I laugh at your pain... but it was all so very true!

    Hugs to you... you're going to do just fine!


  • Finally-Free
    You should go to a zoo, wear a ridiculous 80's sweater, and point blankly at unremarkable things.

    Hey, I like my 80's sweaters.


  • heybaby

    This is hilarious!! It's so funny that we all fell for this stuff lock stock and barrel!! Now looking back, how crazy we must have seemed to others!!!!

  • jamiebowers

    Your post is funny but also too true. So, my unsolicitated advice is to do the exact opposite of the WB&TS rules when dating. Be yourself, date for fun and don't expect to find a wife everytime you go out with a woman.

  • darkl1ght3r

    Thanks for the feedback everyone, and thanks again for the positive reviews! Writing is certainly thereputic. I really want to be an ex-ex-jw, but I've got so much emotional baggage tied up with them that I just can't completly move on yet. Wish I could.

    Spectre - True. They're so obsessed with the OT, it's actually suprising they don't condone rape in order to force a young virgin to marry. Hm. Maybe "New Light" is on the way!

    Hint - I have a perspective on the rash of "chic-flicks for guys" as I call them, (like Knocked Up). Well, that's exactly what they are: Chick-ficks for guys (I thought of a good name for them that I'll just leave to your inagination). They showcase a charming average Joe who somehow despite all odds woos the gorgeous woman of his dreams. Like chick flicks, they're unrealistic. And yeah, of course it's not just a JW problem... but a JW upbringing didn't help. At all. And maybe this is unrelated, but I find myself wondering what I could've been if I hadn't wasted my youth pioneering. Ya know? Oh, and the voices in my head stopped talking to me when I got DF'd. I miss them.

    FHN - Nope, I'm not one of those people.

    Farkel - Wow. I didn't even see that. And no, I don't think they did either...

    rocketman - Yeah, I agree the 20 year old was not my measuring stick. But it was the 'shock' that inspired the above mental gestation. That situation is not typical. But I thought it was funny. But seriously, for as bad a stereotype as some women give men... some (many) women seem determined to earn a WORSE stereotype for their own kind. Men are pigs huh? Well... never mind. Good thing I don't buy into hasty generalizations.

    BabaYaga - You're too kind. Brilliant is a BIG overstatement. And I laugh at my pain too. It's how I deal.

    FinallyFree - It's just that when I look at the pictures in the YPA book, I start to hear "Take On Me" in the background... it's the clashing colors, funny hair, and shoulder pads.

  • PSacramento

    I got 3 words for you Bro:

    Rub and Tug.

    You're gonna pay for it anyways, at least this way you get what you want AND a massage. its win-win baby !!!

    WOOHOOO !!

    Note: This post was made in jest, if anyone was offended, please feel free to cuz me out at your earliest convinence, whipping while wearing leather if you are a female is preferable.

    Thank you.

  • PSacramento

    On a side note, the advertisment on this page was for men looking for good looking asian women, LMAO !!

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