What Happens When a Massage Therapist Wants to Date Their Client? (2024)

Posted by CE Institute LLC on 07 April, 2022 | 5 comments

by Selena Belisle, Founder/Instructor, CE Institute LLC

Professional massage experts agree that all therapists should refrain, under all circ*mstances, from initiating or engaging in any sexual conduct, sexual activities, or sexualizing behavior involving a client, even if the client attempts to sexualize the relationship.

I Met My Soulmate Situation

What experts “disagree” about is the “meeting of a soulmate” situation when working with a massage client.

As our culture works longer hours, a good deal of relationships start at work. So, this poses the question – what is someone supposed to do when two consenting adults would like to start a personal relationship above and beyond a practitioner/client relationship? What is someone supposed to do when they feel they have met their “soulmate” at work – and are in a forbidden practitioner/client relationship?

Apply the Following for Ethical Considerations

Some massageexperts agree that it is okay to terminate the practitioner/client relationship to start a personal relationship. Ways to address this could include:

  • Determine the “end-date” of the practitioner/client relationship to start a personal relationship. A specific date creates a clear defining moment of when the relationship changed for both parties, and with each other’s consent.
  • Draw up a written contract that clearly states the practitioner/client relationship has been terminated for purposes of to start a personal relationship. Include details such as there is no payment exchange for massage or bodywork services in the new personal relationship.
  • Consult a licensed attorney or whomever seems most appropriate for the situation when needed. This includes whether or not the therapist should inform colleagues or superiors of this decision to change the client relationship status.

What to Do When You Are a Massage Therapist Employee
Informing an employer that you wish to start a personal or sexual relationship with a client would likely result in a reasonable loss of employment. Also, not informing an employer could also result in a loss of employment if they found out. It's almost a no win situation.

Every individual situation is different, and each individual must weigh their own pros, cons and ethical obligations to make their own decision to determine ifchanging a professional relationship with a client to a personal one is worth it.

Personal Experience

As a previous large employer of massage therapists, sometimes employing more than 40 at one-time, I've seen several instances where massage therapists have dated each other from work, which sometimes caused friction at work and was not a great idea for the staff as a team.

I also experienced one therapist tell me very professionally that she was mutually interested in dating one of her regular weekly clients, and they wanted to continue their massage sessions so this would not affect me. My response was I was okay if they wanted to start dating, but that would mean it would be the end of his clientship at our massage establishment, which they both accepted. We would no longer be able to service his massage appointments at our business to establish a clear line that the professional relationship has ended and a personal relationship has begun.

It is Never a Good Idea to Pursue a Personal Relationship with a Client

How you chose or navigate your own personal choices or interests with clients is a personal decision that each therapist must make for themselves. What is important to remember is your professional and ethical obligations to the client, including how a power differential might have influenced the interest or start of the personal relationship. It is NEVER a good idea for a health care provider to start dating their client. However this has happened with proper and professional discretion amongst a few therapists, with successful navigation when ethics and clear communications were applied.

Soulmates are supposed to a once in a lifetime person. Any massage therapist who is regularly dating their clients, regardless of professionally terminating the client relationship, would likely be seen as a sexual predator or someone who is abusing their power differential in the client relationship. While some may understand that someone has met a soulmate at work, dating multiple people from work would not be appropriate and is extremely ill-advised. In fact, it could be deemed unethical by a licensing board and result with a suspension, training requirements, fines, loss of licensure and become extremely damaging to your public image, nevermind a client who may have felt taken advantage of in the power differential. A therapist also risks personal lawsuit or criminal action if a client claims a sexual relationship started during licensed healthcare services.

Also, even just one inappropriate sexual engagement with a client at work or outside of the establishment would be considered highly unethical, if not illegal. A once in a lifetime exception, if there ever was one, would only apply when the professional client relationship is mutually terminated to consent to a new personal relationship that would strictly occur outside of the workplace to establish and maintain clear boundaries.

To learn more about massage therapy practice, please click here to find or register for training: https://ceinstitute.com/

#client #clientrelations #ethics #healthcare #healthcarepractices #lmt #massage #massagetherapist #massagetherapyethics #bodywork #bodyworker #massagetherapy #sexualrelationship

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Comments

  • Maribel - May 24, 2024

    Quisiera complacer los cliente

  • Maribel - May 24, 2024

    Quisiera complacer los cliente

  • Doc - May 06, 2024

    Just do it

  • sukalyan som - August 01, 2023

    Even I f*cked my masseuse a lot of times

  • Aaron - May 14, 2023

    This ridiculous article describes the relationship as if it was a sacred event. It took care of a massage technician as if she was a kindergarten kid. We are all adults, for haven’s sake!

What Happens When a Massage Therapist Wants to Date Their Client? (2024)

FAQs

What Happens When a Massage Therapist Wants to Date Their Client? ›

The statute states that it is a 2-year waiting period after the therapist/client ends to engage in a romantic relationship. The statute states that the health care provider shall not engage until the 2-year period has ended. There are no exceptions listed.

Are massage therapists allowed to date clients? ›

Professional massage experts agree that all therapists should refrain, under all circ*mstances, from initiating or engaging in any sexual conduct, sexual activities, or sexualizing behavior involving a client, even if the client attempts to sexualize the relationship.

What happens if a therapist dates a patient? ›

Sexual contact of any kind between a therapist and a client is unethical and illegal in the State of California. Additionally, with regard to former clients, sexual contact within two years after termination of therapy is also illegal and unethical.

How long before a therapist can date a client? ›

Can you date your former therapist? The APA ethics guidelines prohibit sexual intimacy between therapists and clients for the duration of treatment and for five years following the end of treatment.

How often do therapists date patients? ›

Three percent started a sexual relationship with a current and/or former client, 3.7% started a friendship during therapy, and 13.4% started a friendship after therapy.

Can I ask my massage therapist on a date? ›

Is it unprofessional or unwise to ask your massage therapist out? It is unethical for a professional massage therapist to date a client.

Is it inappropriate to date a client? ›

Even if there isn't a conflict of interest, it's important to understand that even the perception of a conflict can reflect badly on the individuals involved and the organizations they work for. Some organizations have rules against dating clients or vendors in order to avoid even an impression of impropriety.

What happens if a therapist falls in love with their client? ›

A therapist could also 'fall in love' with a client. If this is the case, the therapist must keep the client's emotional well-being at the core of the therapeutic process and reflect upon and process his or her feelings via therapy and supervision. The therapist may need to refer the client to another therapist.

What happens when a therapist sleeps with a client? ›

The therapist owes a duty to a patient to avoid sexual contact even if the patient consents, and a sexual relationship between a therapist and a patient is considered malpractice in most states. Some states have concluded that this type of conduct is such a severe breach of trust that it is gross negligence.

Can pts date their patients? ›

Physical therapists shall not engage in any sexual relationship with any of their patient/clients, supervisees or students.

Can therapist hug client? ›

It is OK for your therapist to hug you if you give them permission. Most therapists won't initiate a hug with you. But they may give you one if you request it. If they do give you a hug, they should ask you for permission first.

Can you be friends with your therapist after therapy? ›

Being friends with a former therapist isn't forbidden, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Such a friendship may also make it difficult if you decide you want to go back to therapy again in the future.

Can a therapist contact a former client? ›

Engaging in a relationship with the patient after termination of therapy requires therapists to consider whether the subsequent relationship is exploitative of the client. The Code of Ethics requires therapists to wait a reasonable amount of time2 before entering into a subsequent relationship with a former client.

What are the boundaries of therapist client relationship? ›

Professional boundaries typically include length of a session, time of session, personal disclosure, limits regarding the use of touch, fee setting and the general tone of the professional relationship.

How do I tell my therapist I love them? ›

How should I tell my therapist I have feelings for them? Be honest, as difficult as that may be. An effective therapist will help you work through your feelings and explain that they arise from a formative relationship in your past, not from this current professional relationship.

What do therapists notice about their clients? ›

"Posture, gestures, and facial expressions can reveal a plethora of information about their current emotional state, comfort level, and openness to the therapeutic process. For instance, crossed arms might indicate defensiveness or anxiety, while constant fidgeting could be a sign of nervousness."

How long does a massage therapist have to wait to date a client? ›

The statute states that it is a 2-year waiting period after the therapist/client ends to engage in a romantic relationship. The statute states that the health care provider shall not engage until the 2-year period has ended. There are no exceptions listed.

Are therapists allowed to have relationships with clients? ›

It is also unethical for a therapist to have a sexual relationship with a client. One of the difficulties with dual relationships is that a problem in one relationship, such as a friendship or a sexual relationship, can then cause problems in the therapy relationship.

What is inappropriate for a massage therapist to do? ›

A therapist should never move your underwear or go underneath the edges. The “Should I leave my underwear on?” question is asked of me almost every week for the last 21 years. Even when it's not asked, I still have the conversation. Clients want to be comfortable, but they also want to do what is expected of them.

Can massage therapists be friends with clients? ›

Therapeutic relationships are possible with known clients; however, maintaining appropriate professional boundaries allows the therapist to ethically provide services.

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